Dear Mr. Anxiety Monster

anxiety monster.png

Mr. Anxiety.

Do you know him? I sure do.

He carries with him heavy fear, exhausted worry, moody insecurity, and ugly shame. Someday's I ignore him. Most days I give him complete authority.

When I cower to his will, he injects me with panic. My heart races, my palms sweat, and all sense of reason goes out the window. He pressures me to reach for more coffee, more brownies, and more alcohol, and yet shames me like I just committed murder. 

Even though I know he's a liar, I still give him full rein over my thoughts.

He speaks death, never life. He demands perfection and nothing less. I don't want to believe him, but when life throws curves balls, I haven't the energy to fight him off.

And this month, instead of curve balls, we got a few canon balls on fire!

Adam and I got slammed with a horrible IRS scam, one traffic violation, Jury Duty, a broken printer, one shoulder injury, and all while hosting 3 events at our house.

And of course Mr. Anxiety got the best of me, turning my small problems into nuclear bombs.

I'm certainly not free of my anxiety, but I will tell you this...despite many moment of exhausting worry this month, I did find moments of light weight peace and joy when I turned to faith.

To be more specific, the few moments I decided to acknowledge Mr. Anxiety and commanded him to leave, and then acknowledge Jesus instead, inviting only HIS word in to redirect my thoughts...that's when my mind experienced rest.

These are the verse that was like a sword to Mr. Anxiety. 

1) My power is made perfect in your weakness. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

2) I will be content in any and all situations. - Philippians 4:11

3) I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you, and to give you a future. - Jeremiah 29:11

If you struggle with Mr. Anxiety like I often do, it may be something we both have to face all of our lives. BUT!! With a capital B. I have experienced piece in the storms when I made the conscious decision to acknowledge Jesus and His word instead of the words coming from Mr. Anxiety. 

And that's when we can say, "Dear Mr. Anxiety, BUG OFF, you and your lies have no authority over me!"

I call this, Patient Endurance. "9 x 12". Available.

A painting I made during these past rough weeks. I hope it inspires you to be patient with yourself as you learn to fight off Mr. Anxiety.